By Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D.,
President of American Coalition for Fathers and Children
Aug 30th, 2006
For the moment, while the Federal Marriage Amendment is moved to a back burner, it’s a good time to heighten our awareness of a broader menace. Same-sex marriage is a symptomatic threat to families, compared to the more fundamental effect of “no fault” divorce. “Commentators miss the point when they oppose homosexual marriage on the grounds that it would undermine traditional understandings of marriage,” writes Bryce Christensen of Southern Utah University. “It is only because traditional understandings of marriage have already been severely undermined that homosexuals are now laying claim to it.” Michael McManus of Marriage Savers writes that “divorce is a far more grievous blow to marriage than today’s challenge by gays.”
The Bush administration and Congress have allocated $150 million annually to promote “healthy marriages and responsible fatherhood.” The effectiveness of these efforts turns on how well they mesh gears with the underlying realities of the family crisis. In order to face the bitter truths about why families are dissolving at such an alarming rate, we must move from the precincts of moral exhortation, to take an analytical look at the mechanics of the family court system and related legal agendas.
It is a grievous misconception that an increase in marital “break downs” warranted new laws to simplify the divorce process, as if to minimize a futile expense for an unavoidable outcome. Under “no-fault” divorce laws, 80% of divorces are unilateral. In other words, most “no-fault” divorces are unilateral, over the objection of one spouse, who is often committed to keeping the family together. Further, it is more often the spouse who is opposed to the divorce that will be burdened with on-going legal fees and court actions. Evidence suggests that those who influenced the new laws had an ulterior motive which has developed a system that exploits the opportunity for professional involvement in a growing divorce industry. Since “no fault” divorce opened the court room doors wider, the market of professional family services has grown exponentially.
In contradiction to another myth, that husbands take advantage of the simpler divorce method, the mother of minor children is overwhelmingly most often the divorcing parent. In Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths, Arizona State University psychologist Sanford Braver has shown that at least two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women. Moreover, these divorces rarely involve abandonment, adultery, or violence. The most common reasons are “growing apart” or “not feeling loved or appreciated.”
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Sat, Sep 23, 2006
Marriage, News